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Separating the Real from the Unreal

Rev. Linda Wisniewski

Last September, I experienced symptoms of a bladder and bowel infection that was resistant to antibiotics. I experienced much discomfort in my body as a result of this. I knew from being a Course student, that the source of this discomfort was not my body but was in my mind. Holy Spirit guided me to look at my thoughts as they arose. As I went into meditation, I observed that my thoughts consisted of judgments of myself and others. My thoughts also focused on some future imaginings which created fear. My thoughts focused on the pain that seemed to be coming from my body which seemed so real. Of course as long as I was making the pain real, it kept me focused on making my body real. As long as this was my focus, I was not able to go to the Source which was in my ego mind; Of course, this was a victory for Ego because as long as I believed the source of my dis-ease was in my body; healing could never take place and suffering would continue. I also noticed with the sensations I labeled as pain that when I didn’t grasp hold of it and just allowed it to be there; for a second it seemed to intensify and then it receded. It reminded me of the experience I had in labor when I was giving birth to my daughters; the contractions were like the movement of the waves in an ocean; when a wave or contraction arose, it was intense and reached a peak and then receded. In that moment when it receded there was a space, a gap in which I experienced perfect peace. I was in the Now and this is where reality is; where the peace of God is. I noticed during my meditations, that when I didn’t judge my thoughts or judge the sensations of pain, they left; moving on like clouds across the horizon; coming into my awareness and flowing out of my awareness. When I didn’t hold on to them and make them real, the experience between each thought was just being in peace.

The practice of being mindful is showing me that peace comes when we are not focused on the past or the future; when we are not in judgment and when we are fully present to the moment of just being. This is when we are joined with God in the Holy Instant in eternal peace. How could anything else be real when it continually appears and disappears which is what happens with our ego thoughts. When we don’t grasp hold of them and run with them; when, we don’t give them power by focusing on making a story out of them, we return to the holy instant where our peace is.

The peace is always there in the moment but when we get lost in the thoughts, it becomes hidden behind the clouds of guilt from the past, and worry about the future that isn’t happening. I also noticed in mindful meditation, that the sensations which I labeled pain were really a cluster of thoughts. As long as I believed the pain was real, I was not able to see the thoughts that made up the cluster and if I couldn’t examine my thoughts, how could I undo them and forgive them? When I made the pain in my body real, the more anxious and fearful I became which only intensified the experience of the pain which made them seem more real. As long as I was focusing on the pain in my body, I was creating fearful thoughts and making real what was not real.

For most of my life this has been my pattern. I have experienced much pain in my body and all my energy and time went into finding relief for this physical pain. Now that I am a Course student, I am learning that the body is not real. So the question came up for me as I was in meditation; so, Linda, if you are not a body, who are you? I went to Holy Spirit with my question and over a period of weeks, he led me to Lessons in the Workbook which helped me come to an deeper understanding of what was the truth.

Lesson 91 “Miracles are seen in the Light also asks the question: 7:1 “If you are not a body, what are you?” 6:7-9 :"What you think you are is a belief to be undone. “But what you really are must be revealed to you.” The belief you are a body calls for correction, being a mistake.
7:2"You need to be aware of what the Holy Spirit uses to replace the image of the body in your mind.” 8:1-2 If you are not a body, what are you? Ask this honestly.” 8:3-9 “Say for example, “ I am not weak, BUT STRONG; I am not helpless, BUT ALL POWERFUL; I am not limited; BUT UNLIMITED; I am not doubtful, BUT CERTAIN; I am not an illusion, BUT A REALITY; I cannot see in darkness BUT IN LIGHT.”

Is this easy to do for someone who identified with sickness, weakness, limitation, helplessness and doubt for most of her life” NO! But, I knew that as a Course student, I no longer wanted to be sick and I knew I no longer wanted to be a victim and appear weak and limited. I was tired of the pain and suffering. I was learning I had a choice. In my desperate moment of experiencing pain once again that wouldn’t go away, I cried out for help from God and I was answered with this again from Lesson 91; 10:1-6 - Relax.....be “confident that your efforts however meager are fully supported by the strength of God and all His Thoughts.” “It is from them that your strength will come.” It is through their strong support that you will feel the strength in you.” “They are united with you in this practice period in which you share a purpose like their own.” Theirs is the lights in which you will see miracles because their strength is yours.” Their strength becomes Your eyes that you may see.”

I for who so long tried in vain and suffering to rely on my own strength and my own will was being asked to surrender and lean on God through the Holy Spirit. I who tried to pretend I was so strong and stoic believed I could do it by myself. But the more I tried to do it on my own, the sicker I became. The sicker I became the more I put my belief and faith in making my body real and looking for magical ways to relieve the suffering.

So this time, wanting to heal as the Course describes healing, I began to realize that my way hadn’t worked for a very very long time and maybe, I should do something different. Maybe, just maybe leaning on Holy Spirit to be my strength and guide might bring about the Miracle I was looking for. I was learning that the Source of my pain lay in a mind controlled by Ego that made me believe I was weak, vulnerable, helpless, and could die. It made me believe that the pain I was experiencing in my body that was the effect and not the cause was real and it made me fearful. I really started to do the practices in the lessons, first by looking at my thoughts and asking Holy Spirit to help me see them differently and then doing what the practice asked me to do: Repeat the truth that I am strong, powerful, unlimited, and certain. I am not the illusion of my thoughts which sees through darkness but I am the Light.

Gradually, very gradually, I started experiencing shifts taking place in my thinking and slowly releasing thoughts that made me believe I was a victim.

I am starting to notice more when I am being tempted by ego thoughts that make me believe any sensation in my body is real. When I experience sensations that seem painful whether I label them physical like pain or emotional like fear or rage, I try to immediately to step back, surrender and hand them over to Spirit and ask for His help to see them differently; to see the real from the unreal. This is becoming my daily practice and isn’t this what we are here to do. Isn’t our function to awaken from this dream and remember the truth of who we are in God.

This is our function, to remember and awaken. We are not alone in this and because we still believe most of the time that we are bodies, we cannot do it alone. Holy Spirit is with me every step of the way. I only have to be willing to lean on Him and Let Him who remembers guide me to the Truth.